We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
