Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
