when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize