I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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