The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
