legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need a burrito and a hug.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
