i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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