Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Your dad touched me again.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
