I CAN MOONWALK!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
a search helicopter?!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
