margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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