I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
