if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
