you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
