can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
