I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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