honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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