I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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