Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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