This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize