Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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