oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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