You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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