at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
