dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
