sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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