I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
