Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize