i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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