When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
