he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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