What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
