i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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