so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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