You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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