Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The adults are the big ones right?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
