hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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