Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
