we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
