covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
