He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So drunk its hurt
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
