My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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