the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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