Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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