I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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