We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
