Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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