Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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