I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
