It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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