How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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