You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
