do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
