You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
