its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
