Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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