You don't have asthma, your pregnant
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
