I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
