i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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