Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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