if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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