I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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