He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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