But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
