I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
