I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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