if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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