he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize