Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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