this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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