I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
